Nigerian Stories: Chicken Change, Dirty Slap and Eye Service By Matthew John
DIRTY SLAP
“Na so dem dey take start oo, you go dey call am your daughter, later na you go dey ask am ‘do you know dad loves you?’ All dis papa sef.” This was John speaking to the president of his fellowship who he saw standing and discussing with a female fellowship member.
Later John said to James his fellowship secretary, “no vess oo, seke , u fit lie say you neva nak dis your babe wey dey hol your hand?” unlike the president, the secretary got very furious and gave John a very dirty slap.
EYE-SERVICE
“I too get sense ahbeg” Bola said to her friend Demola who saw pastor praising her for sweeping the whole church surrounding. “why u tok so, Bola?” her friend asked. “Dey there dey doll yourself, no be me sweep all the surrounding of church, as I just see pastor dey come na so I carry broom dey sweep where dey don already sweep.”
“Oh my God!” Said pastor their pastor “I have been standing quietly behind you both. I am highly disappointed in you, eye-service will only destroy you”. The pastor added, nodding his head in disapproval.
CHICKEN CHANGE
Jagaban: Oga conductor soffri dey shout for pesin ear na, which kind tin be dat na?
Conductor: Alaye calm down na, if you no won calm down make you kuku com down.
Jagaban: No shout for me any how oo, you no who ah be?
Conductor: Forget that level, who you be?
Jagaban: Ahbeg stop jhare na hie I dey come down
Conductor: Why you dey give me one Kay, I no get change oo
Jagaban: Leave d change, na chicken change
Conductor: Arrh chicken change? chiamooo tank you, I no no say you be chiamo, no vex ahbeg.
These stories by Matthew John emerged as a winning entry (top 10) in the 2022 Infinite Global Tutors Creative Story Writing Challenge organised by PositiveNaija.
Matthew John
My name is Matthew John. I am currently living in Abuja. I love the Lord and I value excellence.
